A guide to Social Media-Induced Diseases

Yes, they do exist.

Given that we all are constantly preoccupied with what going on with our devices, a slew of social media-induced diseases have been brought to the surface. The Date Report, our new favorite dating guide has brought to light several of these highly life-threatening diseases, and we’ve selected a few of our reoccurring favorites.. Yeah, we’re guilty of catching a few of these….

Obsessive Refresh Disorder: The compulsive urge to reload your Gmail. (Ugh, we do this like all the time, because maybe, just maybe, we got that job we haven’t applied for… )

Emoji-induced Aphasia: A degenerative condition that slowly degrades your brain’s ability to process language made out of actual letters. (So what if we have one full relationship with a guy based totally on Emoji’s, standard wink-faces, and the occasional selfie?)

The Twitches: The feeling that you cannot sit through an event without compulsively live-tweeting it. (Sure we might not know anything about the big game that’s on, but hello– It’s a perfect time to tweet recklessly! We might even get 1 additional follower!)

Tinderrhea: A condition whereby you indiscriminately swipe right in order to secure as many dates as possible. (We actually constantly swipe left, because we’re only on Tinder to find someone famous… And we’d much rather meet a guy at the bar, who is already half-turnt, ready for the taking…) 

Non-Reciprocal Like Imbalance: A recurring disease whereby you regularly “like” a person’s posts even though that person has never once “liked” any of your posts. (“Like, maybe if I like just one more of his posts, he’ll like, like me!”–)

Boobonic Plague: The repeated sending of ill-advised sexts. (Wait, why aren’t you responding to my ultra-sexy staged boudoir pic? Um, better just keep sending dirty sexts.)

Ahh, social media, how we love thee– diseases and all. Check out the full list of diseases here: The Date Report.

Don’t act like you aren’t guilty of a few 😉

Photo courtesy of Social Business News. 

An Open Letter To Cowardly Guys

We found this relatable article on EliteDaily about that guy who vanished from the face of the earth without even the small courtesy of communicating an inkling of his plan. Yeah, we’ve experienced this in varying degrees from several chaps, so it’s interesting many girls out their have dealt with the same.

It’s happened to many of us. You meet a boy; he’s cute enough, fun enough and you decide you just might like him. You go on some dates, get a little physical and text each other almost every day. This goes on for about a month or so and then, on some random day, you text him and don’t receive the usual quick response.

You think that maybe he’s just super busy at work. More hours pass and you think maybe he left his phone at home.
A whole day passes, and you figure that his phone must just be broken; he’ll get back to you. He always gets back to you. I mean, you’re practically dating, right?

You text him again, just in case he missed it the first time. Still, you get nothing. Texting him three times with no response would be kind of aggressive, you reason, but you do it anyway, out of sheer desperation.

Suddenly, the harsh, sinking feeling of reality hits you: He’s not going to get back to you. His phone didn’t break and he isn’t busy.
You know he saw your text messages because, let’s be real, this is 2014 and everyone sees every text, every time……….

So the question that remains for us is this: How could someone be so cowardly? When we knew you, you had balls, so where did they go? Did they shrivel and shrink, leading you to shy away?

Read the full post from Elite here, and remember that dude that dumped you without even as much as saying sayonara is sooo not worth your time…. At least you can chuckle at the spineless freak;  he has to endure life as a ball-less bastard.

Photo courtesy of EliteDaily