Yes, they do exist.
Given that we all are constantly preoccupied with what going on with our devices, a slew of social media-induced diseases have been brought to the surface. The Date Report, our new favorite dating guide has brought to light several of these highly life-threatening diseases, and we’ve selected a few of our reoccurring favorites.. Yeah, we’re guilty of catching a few of these….
Obsessive Refresh Disorder: The compulsive urge to reload your Gmail. (Ugh, we do this like all the time, because maybe, just maybe, we got that job we haven’t applied for… )
Emoji-induced Aphasia: A degenerative condition that slowly degrades your brain’s ability to process language made out of actual letters. (So what if we have one full relationship with a guy based totally on Emoji’s, standard wink-faces, and the occasional selfie?)
The Twitches: The feeling that you cannot sit through an event without compulsively live-tweeting it. (Sure we might not know anything about the big game that’s on, but hello– It’s a perfect time to tweet recklessly! We might even get 1 additional follower!)
Tinderrhea: A condition whereby you indiscriminately swipe right in order to secure as many dates as possible. (We actually constantly swipe left, because we’re only on Tinder to find someone famous… And we’d much rather meet a guy at the bar, who is already half-turnt, ready for the taking…)
Non-Reciprocal Like Imbalance: A recurring disease whereby you regularly “like” a person’s posts even though that person has never once “liked” any of your posts. (“Like, maybe if I like just one more of his posts, he’ll like, like me!”–)
Boobonic Plague: The repeated sending of ill-advised sexts. (Wait, why aren’t you responding to my ultra-sexy staged boudoir pic? Um, better just keep sending dirty sexts.)
Ahh, social media, how we love thee– diseases and all. Check out the full list of diseases here: The Date Report.
Don’t act like you aren’t guilty of a few 😉
Photo courtesy of Social Business News.
Verbular 